haiku retrospective cdv

Can I make this one right?

wildfire --
forehead against the dashboard
she weeps

Or should it be?

she weeps
forehead against the dashboard --
wildfire

weeping
forehead against the dashboard --
fire season

another wildfire --
she weeps, her forehead pressed
against the dashboard

forehead
against the dashboard
she weeps

I can't seem to get rid of the inversion and keep "forehead against the dashboard," which is the image on which the haiku is based.

wildfire --
she presses her forehead hard
against the dashboard

And no, she's not weeping because of the wildfire.

3 September 2009